Author The Sundial

Washington, D.C.—After a years-long investigation, the FBI has determined that Hollywood actor Mike Myers is in fact Michael Myers, the monstrous serial killer from the Halloween film series. Like most of his victims immediately before their deaths, no one saw… Continue Reading →

Aries: NASA’s new discovery has ruined everything Taurus: Time itself has stalled Gemini: You are no longer who you thought you were Cancer: Post a hurt status on your favorite astrology Facebook page Leo: Reject the fact that you could… Continue Reading →

Of course you know that any swipe on the University dining plan is eight dollars at a university market and five dollars at a university convenience store, but are you curious how the swipe for dollars exchange could get any… Continue Reading →

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? You are equal in ripe and pungent smell. I tend to flee when you do come my way For fear that my stomach will be unwell. Shall I compare thee to a… Continue Reading →

Curious about what to wear to your Halloween party? Want to wear something topical? Well here at the Sundial, we have ten spooktacular ideas! Slutty Harambe Want to get into some monkey business on Halloween? First, put on your black… Continue Reading →

In light of recent news of a giant meteor plummeting towards earth, The Sundial has decided to revise its horoscopes for this week. . Aquarius: You are going to die. Pisces: You are going to die. Aries: You are going to die. Taurus: You… Continue Reading →

UberEATS, a new service that allows Uber customers to get food delivered to their homes, has been a runaway success, especially for people who can’t get off their couch because their legs are asleep or who panic when ordering delivery… Continue Reading →