To the total jerk it may concern: I know you don’t want to read this. To tell the truth, I didn’t really want to write it. We used to have something great going, Chris. But… I’ve found someone better for… Continue Reading →
Chip Greenswood had loved golfing since before he could remember, and now he was the laughing stock of every professional tournament he played in. Chip, while exhibiting an average male body shape in every other way, had a perfectly taut,… Continue Reading →
This is just a suggestion is it too late to try to do this? Can someone call and ask? My mom said it might be a good idea, but calling them sounds scary so maybe you should do it. But… Continue Reading →
BRAZIL— After earlier reports were released alerting Olympic athletes to not put their heads under water, city officials have updated Olympians that it is in their best interest to just not compete. “I mean, let’s be honest, we weren’t prepared… Continue Reading →
For students no longer interested in joining clubs for their resume, the Ohio Union is launching the Secret Clubs Involvement Fair. “The Involvement Fair is a freshman convention,” said a student who wished to remain anonymous. “The Secret Involvement Fair… Continue Reading →
BRAZIL–Following the blowout victories that raised his Olympic gold medal count to 21, American swimmer Michael Phelps pledged to swim his final event in Rio with his infant son, Boomer, strapped to his chest in a baby carrier. “It’s the… Continue Reading →
The time has come to say goodbye. Soon, President Obama will leave the office of president to see it be taken over by an angry oompa loompa or a less attractive version of the white witch from Narnia. Obama’s… Continue Reading →
It needed to happen sometime. RICHMOND, VA: Last Friday morning at 9:03 a.m., a white male finally offered his opinion on feminism. As a special, unexpected event that has never happened before in human history, many news reporters flocked to… Continue Reading →
Hillary Clinton had no reservations about choosing a well-known candidate as her running mate. “I hate him! I love him! He’s a scoundrel! He’s a saint! He’s crazy! He’s a genius!” said Clinton of her choice for vice president. Clinton… Continue Reading →
An eight month Michigan pilot program found that not a single person had tested positive for illegal drugs1. Surely this was impossible as everyone knows that the people on welfare are have nothing to do all day but drain government… Continue Reading →
For years, artists and comedians have painted make-believe scenarios of American states physically seceding the mainland. It seems like a silly thought: physically disconnecting a body of land that size would be an enormous and destructive undertaking, and the notion… Continue Reading →
This morning, I went out to get my mail and who did I see but no other than former Republican nominee and perpetually sad potato Ted Cruz. No, it wasn’t an imposter, like the time I thought Jeb Bush was… Continue Reading →
© 2025 The Sundial Humor Magazine — Powered by WordPress
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑
