Author The Sundial

“Hello Kyle Marks.” “Where am I?” “You were walking down the street when you saw a hummingbird.  You got scared, ran away and got hit by a bus.   Welcome to heaven.  Turns out the Christian god is real and you’ve… Continue Reading →

Ah, internet comment sections.  Anyone who has seen even like five of them knows that they can get pretty weird, especially when those comment sections are discussing social movements, such as feminism (comment sections of pretty much every video on… Continue Reading →

Adam Hribar has done it again. Fifteen years after his first interview with The Sundial, Hribar has sat down again to talk about his new holiday special, “You Ruined Christmas, Chuckie Blue!”   When we first met Adam, he was… Continue Reading →

I wish I had enough Christmas cheer . . . for you too Oh, on December 26th it starts anew 364 days of hoarding enough joy for a few This yuletide joy I’d eat by the can It’s not to… Continue Reading →

My True Love, You know how much I love your amazing gift giving. Every year you wow me on my birthday and Christmas. I never thought you could top my last birthday gift of that boat. I mean, we live… Continue Reading →

Dear Children of the World, This year, I will be making some changes in order to streamline the Christmas process and make it more efficient. I only work one day a year, and I am tired of that day being… Continue Reading →

Honey (Will You Stop Getting Baked?) Roast Step One: Cook a Roast glazed in Honey. Step Two: Get your partner/spouse to put down the joint and help you in the goddamn kitchen. Step Three: Unplug their Xbox and cancel their… Continue Reading →

Twas the night before Boxing Day, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, especially not a mouse, because what kind of low-class garbage-people have mice living in their house nowadays? The children were flung on the floor… Continue Reading →

On the 12th day of Christmas Millennial my true love gave to me: 12 Uke-ers uke-ing 11 Vapers vaping 10 Lordes a Leaping ‘90s Nostalgia 8 Lactose free Lattes 7 Mila Kunis imaginary oral-sex scenes 6 Leese a Gaying 5… Continue Reading →

1. Rudolph In the North Pole, Rudolph was a boring, high school reindeer living with his Uncle Ben and Aunt May. One day, he visited a science exhibit and was bitten by a radioactive spider and acquired the ability to fly… Continue Reading →

Christmas Club Rules Spread Christmas cheer by singing loud for all to hear You MUST spread Christmas cheer by singing loud for all to hear If someone says Merry Christmas you must say it back Give as many gifts as… Continue Reading →

We’ve all heard of Christmas. Most of us have heard of Kwanzaa. Some of us have heard of Festivus. But, less than twenty people have heard of Holiday Snake Man Day. I, the singular chairman on the Holiday Snake Man… Continue Reading →