Category Campus

Local Beer Die Table Ready for Incoming Retirement

EAST CAMPUS — A local beer die table is seemingly on its last leg. After years of use and neglect, this table, which has hosted a variety of overcomplicated drinking games, seems to have its eyes set on retirement. We… Continue Reading →

‘Skyrim’ will Soon be Playable on the North Campus Clock Tower

COLUMBUS, Ohio – Any Ohio State student who has ever ventured onto North Campus is surely familiar with the 75-ft Tom W. Davis Clock Tower, which features a nearly 40-ft tall LED video display. It’s a common sight to see… Continue Reading →

A Visit with Ohio State Police Department’s Tank

If you find yourself on the Ohio State University campus and mistakenly think you are in an urban warzone in Afghanistan, you are not far off. Ohio State University’s police department was able to get its hands on a Mine… Continue Reading →

Resident Assistants Cause Rat Infestation to Prepare Students for Off-Campus Housing

COLUMBUS, OH — To help prepare students for living off-campus, the Office of Student Life under their “Oh the Places You’ll Go Off-Campus” program, has released rats into the basements of Mack and Canfield Hall. “Our goal is to create… Continue Reading →

Ohio State Astronomers Spot UFOs above North Campus

COLUMBUS, Ohio – For decades, the American public has been obsessed with a monumental question: is there intelligent life elsewhere in the universe? And if so, did they build the pyramids? The question has finally been answered (the first one,… Continue Reading →

Local Campus Priest Turns Mirror Lake To Blood After Involvement Fair Hoodwink

Controversy erupted last week after Father Michael Callahan of the St. Thomas More Newman Center irreversibly turned Mirror Lake to blood. A new biblical plague followed each subsequent day with: a colony of frogs, lice in all of the RPAC… Continue Reading →

Food Robots Make a Triumphant but Controversial Comeback

COLUMBUS, Ohio – It’s a new semester at Ohio State, and everyone’s favorite food-delivery robots are back! Returning students will recall that the Grubhub-powered rovers were decommissioned last year after being found guilty of numerous war crimes. But due in… Continue Reading →

Guess Which Mystery Celebrity Was Spotted In The Oval!

The Ohio State University is world-renowned with a plethora of famous and interesting alumni such as R.L. Stine, or even Jeffrey Dahmer, so it never surprises when a celebrity decides to come and visit. Maybe they are reminiscing, maybe they… Continue Reading →

Brutus Buckeye Surprises Fans By Becoming a Cashew

Reporting live from The Ohio State University, this is new reporter Julian from The Sundial. This Saturday was different for the fans of Buckeye Nation. Right before the game against Arkansas State kicked off, Brutus rushed the field and surprised… Continue Reading →

This relationship expert says the best way to get her attention is to mess with her welcome mat

Don’t bother talking to her or making any effort at all, boys, there’s a clear strategy that new freshmen can use right now to cut right to her heart, says Melissa Perez, a relationship expert.  “If there’s a special young… Continue Reading →

Does BarstoolOSU pass the Bechdel Test? This report will SHOCK YOU!

No.    But now that you’re here, you should consider writing for us. We’ve been around since 1911, kind of, and we’d love to have you. Send in an article at thesundialmagazine@gmail.com.  Bechdel Test.  Written by Henry Levenberg, Staff Writer… Continue Reading →

How to Write the Perfect Hate Mail so Your TA Will Give You Points Back

We’ve all been there. You need an extra 2% in your lab component to clinch that sweet C-.  There are a few days left in the semester. There is no room for error. So, you must gaslight your TA into… Continue Reading →

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