Category Campus

Ohio State’s Australian Branch Campus Closes After Students Complain About Having to Study Upside Down

ǝǝpunp ǝlᴉpoɔoɹƆ ʎq ¡uɐƃᴉɥɔᴉW ɹǝƃƃnq ‘osl∀ ˙ɐʎ llǝʇ I ‘ɹǝʞɔoɥs lɐǝɹ ɐ s,ʇI ¡,uᴉuunɹ ǝuᴉƃuǝ ǝɥʇ dǝǝʞ oʇ ǝʇᴉɯǝƃǝΛ uɐɥʇ ǝɹoɯ spǝǝu ǝʞolq ǝnlq-ǝnɹʇ ∀ ˙ɹǝuuᴉp puɐ ‘ɥɔunl ‘ǝᴉʞʞǝɹq ɹoɟ ǝʇᴉɯǝƃǝΛ ʇno sǝɥsᴉp ʎluo xoqɹǝʞɔnʇ looɥɔs ǝɥʇ ‘ǝʇɐɯ ‘ǝsɹoʍ uǝʌǝ… Continue Reading →

Scientists Confirm That Ohio State is the Center of the Universe

The Ancient Greeks thought they were at the center of all creation. But today, Ohio State astronomers have been able to scientifically prove that we are the center of everything. That’s right; ‘all roads lead to Ohio State’, as the… Continue Reading →

University Eugenics Program Offers Free Condoms to Students with Low GPAs

COLUMBUS, OHIO. The Ohio State University has created a new department designed to improve the disappointingly low average GPA among students, according to a Tweet posted on the university’s official Twitter account. The department’s chief initiative is tentatively known as… Continue Reading →

Fisher College Declares Independence from Ohio State

At a frat party last weekend, Fisher College of Business students voted to officially secede from The Ohio State University in order to create their own institute of higher learning. Immediately afterwards, Professor Ty Shepfer was elected to be the… Continue Reading →

Opinion: The Oval would look better if it had a Walmart Supercenter

The Oval. Sure, it’s a nice place to relax with friends on a warm sunny day, but besides that what’s the point of it? Right now it’s just a large piece of wasted space in what is easily the most… Continue Reading →

Student Health Services Defunding

COLUMBUS, OHIO – In a recent statement, Ohio State University has announced that going forward, all funding for Student Health Services will be redirected to a popular factual news source on campus, the Sundial. This move comes on the heels… Continue Reading →

A Message From The Ohio State University Alumni Association

We are here for you. The Ohio State University Alumni Association keeps you connected to the alma matter you love and your fellow Buckeyes by blood oath. Your alumni family — more than 600,000-strong — is always growing stronger and… Continue Reading →

Kristina M. Johnson Caught Embezzling Millions of Dining Dollars

Since OSU President Kristina M. Johnson’s sudden resignation at the end of 2022, speculation has been rampant about the cause of her leaving. Some have suggested criminal actions, disagreements with the OSU board of trustees, a potential sex scandal with… Continue Reading →

4 Paws for Ability: Not Just for Dogs Anymore!

Ohio State’s popular “4 Paws for Ability” program will soon undergo a radical expansion, new University President Brutus Buckeye announced earlier today. The 4Paws program, which gives student volunteers the opportunity to train therapy dogs, will be expanded to include… Continue Reading →

Sue Sylvester For OSU President?: Why William McKinley’s Principal Might Just Be OSU’s Best Fit For President

Recently, Ohio State University President Kristina M. Johnson resigned due to unknown circumstances. Since then the student body of OSU has been dying to know who the next President of OSU will be. My vote goes to the scarily known… Continue Reading →

New Script Proper Noun Debate

OSU CAMPUS, COLUMBUS: In a highly disappointing but not surprising move, THE™ Ohio State University Athletics Department has trademarked the™ Script Ohio™ logo. This is to help OSU gain revenue by holding sole selling rights to Script Ohio™ T-Shirts, stickers, and… Continue Reading →

Breaking News: True Motivations of The Sundial Rebrand Uncovered

After a long year of discussions, The Sundial magazine finally unveils its rebrand. On Sunday, April 23, an official spokesperson for the magazine stated that the long-awaited rebrand is here. The premier comedy magazine on campus saw an influx in membership over the… Continue Reading →

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