Category Zines

It’s Your Day, Columbus – Tom Valentine’s Day

Tom Valentine’s Day – February 6, 2019 In last month’s edition of “It’s Your Day, Columbus,” we highlighted a day in the life of Dora Martin, a 38-year-old personal trainer visiting from Sandusky. This month, we’re interviewing Tom Valentine of… Continue Reading →

Top 5 Reasons My Parents are Making Me Go to Bed Early Today

Yeah, it’s Valentine’s Day, so? My Parents aren’t going to do anything, right? No. They’re not, and I can prove it. Here’s 5 better explanations as to why my parents want me to go to bed at 8 tonight: 1…. Continue Reading →

Ask Amy: Crushing on a Cute Columnist

Dear Amy, I have a serious problem. There’s this person that I have a crush on, but there’s no way she even knows I exist. You see, she writes this incredibly funny advice column for a very popular humor magazine…. Continue Reading →

Galentine’s Day Ends in Mysterious Fire

COLUMBUS– The local Chili’s burnt down on February 13th in a mysterious fire that some are claiming is connected to a suspicious series of robberies and thefts in the neighborhood. The Northside Chili’s, a popular Midwestern bar and grill for… Continue Reading →

Romantic Ways to Weed Out Weak Suitors and Ensure Only the Strongest Survive

Are you searching for a viable romantic partner, but aren’t convinced by traditional chocolate and flower rituals? Are you looking to test just how adaptable to their environment your suitors are? Then I’ve got just the thing for you: Darwinism!… Continue Reading →

How to Seduce Your 7th Grade Boyfriend With a Cup Song Rendition of “Welcome to the Jungle”

You and Tyler from math are finally officially dating. But if your self-esteem is as low as mine, you’re not certain how long you’ll be able to hold his attention before he decides to move on to someone better looking,… Continue Reading →

21 Haikus Parents Can Use To Relate To Their Kids

Do you ever feel out of touch with the modern fads and doodads that spawn in social media and pop culture? Are you a parent who wants to understand your kids’ jokes so you can connect and become more involved… Continue Reading →

Breaking Your Kid’s Code: Is Your Child Secretly Talking Fortnite?

Parents, have you tried reading your kid’s texts only to find they’re full of weird words you’ve NEVER heard of? When you ask them about it, do they just say “Mom, that’s a real breach of privacy. I think we… Continue Reading →

6 Ways to Hide Your Day Drinking From Your Kids

We get it. Parenting is tough, and sometimes you just need to take the edge off a little bit. Trying to get your buzz up without your kids becoming raging alcoholics like Mommy and Daddy? Here’s six fun-for- the-whole-family tips… Continue Reading →

“American Pie,” and Five More Movies to Blacklist so Your Kids Don’t Fuck Pies

Parents, don’t you hate when you’re having a wholesome movie night watching 1999 classic “American Pie” and it is suddenly interrupted by the sound of your son going to town on Grandma’s sweet cherry pie? You’re not alone. Here are… Continue Reading →

Ask Amy: Majorly Miffed Mother

Dear Amy, Karen, you know from book club, has a kid at OSU just like my Sarah, and she keeps bragging about how much more her kiddo loves her than mine. Not only is she getting monthly phone calls and… Continue Reading →

Making Your Kid Cool: How to Make Vine References a Part of Your Child’s Life

If you’re like me, you likely worry constantly about the wellbeing of your child. If you’re also like me, you’ve likely noticed that your child is super ugly so if they’re gonna make it in the world, they better damn… Continue Reading →

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