Based on “Do Not Go Gentle Into that Good Night” by Dylan Thomas Do not black out into that good night, bro. Liquor should pour and splash at the close of day; Rave, Rave against the fate of Natty Light,… Continue Reading →
Help! Anyone! My almonds are wrong. Listen now as I sing you my song. Almonds in the oven, I placed on a tray. I opened the door and was full of dismay! My almonds, it seemed, had some kind of… Continue Reading →
COLUMBUS—I-71 N., E. Hudson Street is temporarily closed this afternoon, April 26th, due to a large tree obstructing the highway entrance ramp. It remains unclear how long the ramp will be closed. A service vehicle is present on the scene,… Continue Reading →
Let’s be real: you know exactly where this article is going. I could give you context, but that wouldn’t do anything to assuage the visceral thought of that bushy mustache chomping down on a PhleshyPhallus™. Let’s just say the jig… Continue Reading →
HOLLYWOOD–The recent downturn of economic events has wreaked havoc on hard-working citizens all across America. With the stock market being the way it is (bad) and layoffs occurring at nearly every business, many Americans are struggling to get by. One… Continue Reading →
Written by XxXtumblrDaddyPwenisUwUXxX 1951, Manhattan: Daddy Einstein turns on his thicc time portal and sashays into The Past. He is chasing true love. Cut to 1850, Galapagos Islands: Darwin Senpai is inside his sexy office, writing down his smart observations of animals. There is a… Continue Reading →
Howdy, Astrologer Dave here! As we transition from Pisces to Aries season last March, remember that consistently crying three times a day is completely normal, no matter what your therapist says. Hope you like what the stars have to say… Continue Reading →
Perhaps you’ve noticed movies making strides in the wrong direction. Movie studios have begun making unneeded pushes for diversity, which ends up hurting the integrity of the final product. It all started with that Ghostbusters reboot, and then strong female… Continue Reading →
In celebration of March’s “Pornograzine,” we here at The Sundial wanted to try something new for you, our loyal, obedient readers. We wanted to allow you to actually participate in creating the laughs! And being the generous writers, editors, sodomites,… Continue Reading →
1469: Christopher Columbus is controversially famous for having been the first European to successfully voyage to the Americas. Despite the debate over whether or not Columbus should be celebrated for his work, everyone likely knows the rhyme used to remember… Continue Reading →
Of the developments that have come out of negotiations over the government shutdown that has extended more than four weeks, an effective solution is not one of them. Conversely, an idea instead came into President Trump’s head during one of… Continue Reading →
Washington DC – In a shocking memo released by the FBI earlier this morning, Texas Senator Ted Cruz was revealed to not be the Zodiac Killer, despite public belief and the overwhelming evidence of having the face that he has…. Continue Reading →
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