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6 Ways to Hide Your Day Drinking From Your Kids

We get it. Parenting is tough, and sometimes you just need to take the edge off a little bit. Trying to get your buzz up without your kids becoming raging alcoholics like Mommy and Daddy? Here’s six fun-for- the-whole-family tips… Continue Reading →

“American Pie,” and Five More Movies to Blacklist so Your Kids Don’t Fuck Pies

Parents, don’t you hate when you’re having a wholesome movie night watching 1999 classic “American Pie” and it is suddenly interrupted by the sound of your son going to town on Grandma’s sweet cherry pie? You’re not alone. Here are… Continue Reading →

Ask Amy: Majorly Miffed Mother

Dear Amy, Karen, you know from book club, has a kid at OSU just like my Sarah, and she keeps bragging about how much more her kiddo loves her than mine. Not only is she getting monthly phone calls and… Continue Reading →

Making Your Kid Cool: How to Make Vine References a Part of Your Child’s Life

If you’re like me, you likely worry constantly about the wellbeing of your child. If you’re also like me, you’ve likely noticed that your child is super ugly so if they’re gonna make it in the world, they better damn… Continue Reading →

Five Warning Signs That Your Daughter Is the Loser of the Friend Group

Your child’s teenage years are full of exciting moments, big changes, and vital self-discovery that every parent can and should be heavily involved in. During this crucial time of social development, adolescent girls and boys find themselves sprouting into well-adjusted… Continue Reading →

9 Things Introverts Are Sooooo Tired of Hearing

Why don’t you talk more? If you’re an introvert like me, you are probably up to here with this one. Sometimes it’s just is soo #tiring to talk. Sometimes you just want to talk to your best friend, Netflix. Want… Continue Reading →

Man Claiming to be Dating a Ghost is Just Having Wet Dreams

GARY, INDIANA — A spooky scandal has once again rocked the quiet streets of Gary this October. Maximillian Bader, who months ago shot to international fame after his claims to be dating a ghost named Creepy Cathy, was recently proven… Continue Reading →

Local Mirror Accused of Homophobia for Refusing to Show Gay Vampire

HALLOWEENTOWN –– Spooky scary (and anti-gay) skeletons have been dragged out of the closet in the wake of the latest controversy to hit Halloweentown when a local mirror was accused of homophobia following an incident with the town’s resident gay… Continue Reading →

Razor Blades Found in Pumpkin Spice Lattes

COLUMBUS—It’s that time of year again; the leaves begin to change colors and millions everywhere flock to their local Starbucks to enjoy their favorite seasonal cash grab—The Pumpkin Spice Latte. But this fall you may want to reconsider where you… Continue Reading →

Former OSU President Drops Michael V. Drake Diss Track

An incredible event took place earlier this week at Thompson Library when the ghost of former Ohio State president, William Oxley Thompson, returned from the afterlife. According to multiple witnesses, Thompson’s first words were, “Wow, this place  has really gone… Continue Reading →

Ask Amy – Frighteningly Frugal

Dear Amy, I signed up to volunteer at a local Trunk or Treat, but don’t have the money to buy candy. What do I do? Sincerely, Frighteningly Frugal   Dear Frighteningly Frugal, Look around your house for some candy alternatives,… Continue Reading →

Human Anatomy Class Shocked By Jaw-Dropping Erection

The dead aren’t the only things rising this fall at OSU. The students taking “Advanced Human Anatomy for Undergraduates” were in for a big surprise when a UPO (Unidentified Phallic Object) was spotted inside the classroom. After this mysterious entity… Continue Reading →

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