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The Travel Bureau: A True-Life Adventure

Dialogue by Jovial Bob Stine, Art by Carol Nicklaus Originally Published 1963-1965

Stine’s Line

By Jovial Bob Stine Originally Published December 1962 Note: Stine’s Line was a recurring feature in the Sundial from 1962-1965. “I’m going to be undone by fools and boondockers.” – Proust So you think people haven’t become too sensitive these… Continue Reading →

Who Put Trousers On My Frog Legs? (A Fantasy)

Written by Jovial Bob Stine Originally Published January 1963 “Now, do each of you have a frog?” asked Professor Pivnik, quickly surveying each of his Zoology students’ desks. The smell of formaldehyde filled the classroom, soaking into the pores of… Continue Reading →

Homecoming: A Poem

Written by William Oxley Yeats Turning and turning in Block O’s widening gyre The food robot cannot deliver its order; Things fall apart; the Oval cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The Scarlet-dimmed tide is loosed, and… Continue Reading →

Newport Welcomes Keanu Reeves… and His Bandmates

Looking for something to kick off your spooky season? Look no further than Keanu Reeves’ performance with his band on October 3rd. Traveling from one corn field to the next, the band intends to perform in Columbus at Newport Music… Continue Reading →

The Secret Diary of William Oxley Thompson

July 1st, 1899 First of all, let me get something straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to… Continue Reading →

Percy Jackson Becomes an Ohio State Frat Bro in Long-Awaited 6th Novel

The long-awaited sixth novel in Rick Riordan’s best-selling series Percy Jackson and the Olympians has finally arrived, and Ohio State students are in for a surprise. This new story in the beloved Greek Life series sees Percy finally graduate high… Continue Reading →

The Sundial Purity Test

 Have you ever held hands romantically?    Have you ever been on a date?   Have you ever danced without leaving room for Jesus?   Do you have to suppress a laugh when you hear any of the following words… Continue Reading →

Ohio State Introduces New “Trap Door” System for Pro-Life Protesters

Last night The Knowlton College of Engineering in collaboration with the College of Arts and Sciences announced a new policy to “take care” of pro-life protesters. “These hecklers are everywhere and we must deal with them no matter the cost,”… Continue Reading →

Students Celebrate As “Free the Nipple” Movement Arrives at Ohio State

“The ‘Free the Nipple’ movement at Ohio State is an essential expression of gender equality and body positivity. This movement advocates for the right of all individuals to bare their chests in public spaces, irrespective of their gender, without fear… Continue Reading →

Scott Labs Gas Leak Goes Unnoticed as Engineering Majors Just Smell Like That

NORTH CAMPUS — Students were left befuddled when they arrived to class Thursday morning to find Scott Laboratories completely blocked off due to an ominous gas leak that had been brewing for weeks. This was shocking, as no one had… Continue Reading →

Execution Scheduled for Student who Accidentally Stepped on a 4Paws Dog’s Toe

Last week, OSU students settled in to the third week of classes under the wicked September heat. The free coffee and gift bags from Oval church groups were gratuitous and the risk of catching some sort of disease was high…. Continue Reading →

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