George Thomas was born at an early age, but grew out of it pretty quickly. He was a great first try, followed up by a sleeker model three and a half years later that rendered him immediately obsolete. The great-grandchild (but merely okay grandchild) of Greek immigrants, he maintains his proud cultural heritage by running out of money.

George is currently an English major at OSU despite love and guidance from his parents, who had better start picking out cheap nursing homes. Like, really cheap. We’re talking soup with cubes of “meat” and mattresses with more rats in them than springs.

His short-term plans include coming up with a long-term plan and having more than two short-term plans.