It’s the end of the decade, and that means reflection. Hopefully, you had a good time these past ten years, but chances are your time on this earth was marked by both major triumphs and major defeats. In order to recount how much you’ve grown, we dug up some hidden gems: the 5 best memories from middle school you buried deep within your subconscious to avoid the humiliation and trauma that thinking about them would bring.
5. Your 7th grade crush
Back in those days, you didn’t really get the whole “dating” thing. But all of a sudden, when you heard that Katie from English somehow liked you, the pubescent flood gates burst open. You fell head-over-heels for a girl you never talked to before who was really into Great Britain, for some reason. It’s too bad you never did anything about it, you two could have had a great time awkwardly laughing at The Graham Norton Show on BBC America together.
4. That time you got into Star Trek
Sure, Star Wars was a fun, action-packed adventure of a movie, but there were absolutely no hidden meanings or political allegories to ever be found. Star Trek was a sci-fi show for intellectuals, so that was where you found your community. I use community loosely, because it was just you catching reruns every Saturday night, but you sure got intellectual stimulation from it. You managed to get your 6th grade mind around some of the subtler points of the show, such as “The Cold War was bad”. In their defense, that counted as a hot take back in the 60s.
3. That kid who taught you what a “blue waffle” was
His name was Dane. You were stuck with him in study hall, and there was nothing else to do but listen to his ramblings and do whatever dumb thing he suggested you do. Most times, this ended pretty well. But one day he said, “Go ahead, Google it”. You were confused at first, but that confusion was quickly replaced with shock when you found a clear absence of extravagantly colored breakfast foods. Instead, you found a new psychological trauma. Good thing you repressed it so you won’t have to worry about it ever again.
2. How your middle school self set yourself up for failure
Let’s face it, the middle school you was a real prick. You assumed you were better than anyone else, despite very clear evidence that you were average at best. This inflated ego led you to shut out everyone who was being friendly or helpful because you assumed you didn’t need it, ruining your social skills and chance at real well-being. Maybe if you weren’t such a douchebag in the past, you’d have more friends. At least you get to know that you’ve kind of succeeded, despite your best efforts.
1. Gangnam Style
That guy PSY sure did a funny dance. Gangnam Style was once a huge hit, but it’s popularity crashed and burned almost as quickly as it gained over a billion views on Youtube. You probably did that dance so much, and it looked so bad. It’s probably fine, as long as you never shouted “HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY, SEXY LADY” at somebody.
It’s always embarrassing to see that you used to like something that is now seen as not good, but you grew past it, just as you grew past every weird thing you did in middle school. As rough as your time in middle school was, it’s over and can’t be undone. The new decade is about moving forward. The best you can do is be better than you were. Given all the stupid shit you did back then, that shouldn’t be too hard.
Written by Zach Levy, Treasurer