2019 is coming to a close, which means that in a few short weeks, it will be the 20s. This certainly means the revival of jazz, flappers, and the great American novel. The next decade is going to be all about obtaining that historical clout, and one of the easiest ways to do so is to let everyone know that you did, in fact, read The Great Gatsby when you were in high school. Here are 6 things you can do in the 2020s that will assure everyone you know that you didn’t SparkNotes that novel, but rather read every single word.

1. Throw a party

This is an easy first step to proving your surface-level retention of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s most popular novel amongst high school juniors. If you’ve even seen the preview for the Baz Luhrmann movie adaptation, you know that parties are a major component of the story. Just make sure to serve champagne and blast Fergie’s “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody (All We Got)” featuring Q-Tip and GoonRock all night so that everyone you invited gets the reference.

2. Make some risky investments 

A ballsy move, but one that Jay Gatsby would approve of. After all, how are you going to make your new money fortune without taking some risks? Start by finding an older man to become your mentor who will eventually die and leave you an inheritance. This won’t work out for you, but it will build character and backstory. Then, complete some shady dealings with shady people, possibly fix the World Series, and bootleg some alcohol (works best during Prohibition). Never tell anyone how you got your money or how many risks you took to earn your fortune.

3. Start staring out of windows

This one might be even easier than the first two, but it requires a lot of commitment. You can’t just stare out windows sometimes. You have to be willing to be looking out a window anytime anyone sees you to fully emphasize your new personality quirk. This can prove especially difficult if there is no window in a room, so I recommend carrying around a picture of a window in your pocket at all times in case you need to gaze wistfully at the green light in the distance.

4. Crash your car

Okay so this is going to take some guts but it’s a key moment from the book and how are people going to know that you read it if you don’t reference the climax of the novel? For the most accurate crash, try owning a yellow car and finding an actress to pretend to be run over by you while you drive off. If this feels out of your financial ability or comfort zone, try simply crashing your (non-yellow) car into a tree or perhaps even another car for a similar effect. Ensure that someone is there to see the crash happen, otherwise no one is going to believe you when you tell everyone about the crazy accident you were in.

5. Fall madly in love with someone who is completely unattainable

You may have already accomplished this, and if so, congratulations. If not, just find someone who is way out of your league, preferably from old money, already married, or living on the opposite side of town, and become totally enamored with them. Then continue to pine over them for the entire year and refuse to tell them about your love but make sure to tell everyone else. If you are struggling to force yourself to love someone who can never be with you, you’re probably emotionally stable and it would be in your best interest not to compromise that extraordinary gift by attempting this for Great Gatsby clout.

6. Become an allegory for the American Dream

This is the ultimate triumph to show everyone that you understood The Great Gatsby on a much deeper, more philosophical level than anyone else. In order to turn into an allegory for the American Dream, you must essentially become a myth, something intangible that brings about nothing but disillusionment and discontent to anyone who foolishly chases you. This may cause you to lose your sense of self as you turn into something that ultimately doesn’t exist, but in the end it’s worth it. After becoming an allegory for the American Dream, you can rest easy knowing that all of your friends think you’re better than them, and they’re right. 

Written by Francesca Varga, Social Media Officer