Written by Sydney Katznelson
After short-lived quarterback Kyle McCord’s transfer to Syracuse; Ryan Day and the Buckeyes scramble to find a new quarterback to fill his almost-new shoes. While scavenging through the transfer portal Day was able to strike gold on a new option: Ditto.
This purple blob has the power to transform into any shape it likes, as well as possess all of their strengths. The Buckeyes have tamed this wild Ditto and trained Ditto to transform into former quarterback CJ Stroud because “we were just better when he led us,” Day mentioned in a press conference.
When questioned if this new player choice is legal, Day responded, “we aren’t sure, but if we get fined we’ll just add more to tuition”.
We later followed up with CJ in Texas to ask him how he feels about Ohio State’s decision to Ditto him. After having a long sit down with him and pondering the meaning of life, he responded, “as long as they get the dub”.
We asked McCord for a statement, but he has not gotten back to us. He was probably a Ditto all along.