I think the Superbowl is taking the Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce thing too far. There. I said it. It’s not because I hate Taylor Swift, because I don’t. They could never make me hate her (except for the insane carbon emissions, the Ticketmaster Congressional Hearing, Cats (2019))
and I do listen to Speak Now TV A LOT. I just can’t hear any more about her romance with Travis Kelce right now.
To be clear, I am not against their relationship. I think he seems like a nice man and I like his tweets about the squirl and chipolte and stairing out the window. And I am proud that a man from Ohio is treating Taylor right. I just do not need to hear about it every second of every day. I liked it when it was meme material, like when that one Swiftie said there was ‘seemingly ranch’ on Taylor’s plate when she went to a game. I laughed when I saw a post that said “Swifties, meet your new dad” over a photo of Travis. But then the news cycle got a hold of the story and decided that we live in the frickin U.K. or something and we need an update every time these two send each other a ‘good morning’ text. I am an AMERICAN and I do not need a royal family in my life! Why am I currently receiving texts that my friend’s mom is glad Taylor made it back from Japan okay?
And again, don’t get me wrong– I, too, am in a very happy straight relationship following years of disaster and heartbreak. And yeah, I do post about it a lot. But it’s different because I’m just a person and don’t have 19 media conglomerates attempting to profit off of me and my Valentine.
Well listen up, People Magazine. There’s 13 letters in the phrase NO MORE TRAYLOR. There’s 19 letters if I add the important distinction of public to that string of words, which is how I really feel and how old I was when the stupid Eras tour began that started this whole thing (no, I
did not go). I swear that I will never ever complain about being made to watch a football game again if you just get the stupid native mascot team off my feed and stop posting about them all the damn time. If Taylor has something important about the two of them that she wants to tell us, we’ll find out April 19.

Ranted by Olivia Dearth