Written by Olivia Dearth
Mayday! Mayday!
The sink is clogged. But who could have done this?
This terrible block?
The disposal’s gone quiet, sink filling with water.
Cheerios returning from the depths, soggy fodder.
Maybe it was the cat food I poured into the water bowl
Then back into the sink, 16 ounces full.
Maybe it was rice. I put that in too.
But I overestimated the amount, and I’m sure so would you.
I can’t help but wonder if it was my roommate’s tiny forks
Which fell down in the drain– maybe those were the source.
What are they for? Surely I couldn’t tell you.
Yet, the sink ate two of them, so hurt it would’ve had to.
Was it the roaches we’ve battled, come back from the dead
Ghosts cursing our plumbing via fate’s divine thread?
Scared to call maintenance, I headed online
Google said, ‘try reset button’ which would have been fine
If it hadn’t done nothing but roar for a second.
The ghastly white clog stayed the same as I left it.
I poured in some baking powder, since the soda was out
And followed with vinegar, and then heard a sound–
Was the garbage disposal working? I listened with pause
But just seconds later the sound was all gone.
Hence, I texted my roommate, “the sink is clogged”
Our wonderful metal basin, turned into a bog.
Sadly and shamefully I dialed up maintenance
A tear trickled down ‘oer my mournful countenance.
And then I sent in that fateful request
Our sink to be freed at our custodian’s behest.
Now I wait in my bedroom, rueing the day
I ever put anything in that sink to wash away.
So heed my advice, and listen well,
Put your rice in the trash or you’re going to hell.