Author The Sundial

Brutus Buckeye Arrested for Embezzling OSU Funds

The Ohio State University had to let go of its greatest icons earlier this week: Brutus Buckeye was terminated for embezzling $3 million from the athletic department over the course of 8 years. Following his termination, Mr. Buckeye was intercepted… Continue Reading →

Short North, Tired of Feeling Shamed, Demands to be Re-Named “Average Size North”

After years of feeling put down, the Short North of Columbus, Ohio demands to be re-named Average Size North. Short North representative Jen A. Tillia states, “We feel as if we’re looked down upon because of our name when in… Continue Reading →

Kid Who Tells Parents He Doesn’t Do Drugs Is Doing Drugs Right Now

It started with a half-hearted promise, one year ago. When Tyler Plath’s parents dropped him off on Move-In Day, they made him promise them that he would not ever use intoxicating substances. “Remember what you’re here for,” said his father,… Continue Reading →

KComm Closed Indefinitely After Sighting of Ghost of June F. Kennedy

COLUMBUS—A popular campus dining location at The Ohio State University has been shut down indefinitely after several student reports of a haunting. Traditions at Kennedy, affectionately known as KComm, was a prime eating spot for students until last weekend when… Continue Reading →

Barista Disappointed No One Noticed He Snuck Own Song Into Corporate Playlist

PITTSBURGH—Sam Heck, the barista working at Starbucks on Thursday afternoon, looked forlorn, and for good reason. Heck told reporters he was a bit underwhelmed with the response to his new band camp single, which he had gone to great lengths… Continue Reading →

Climate Change Isn’t Real, But I Wish It Was!

9/27/19 Dear diary, I really want this climate change business to be real, but I just can’t find the evidence. Maybe I’m not looking in the right places, or haven’t looked hard enough, I don’t know. You have no idea… Continue Reading →

7 Movies Whereupon Hearing the Title I Exclaim “You Mean My Wife?”

I consider myself quite the cinephile, but the one thing I love more than buying a ticket to Movieland is some good-natured fun at my wife’s expense. Since our marriage in 2009, my love for my wife has only grown,… Continue Reading →

Op-Ed: There are so many lizards on the sofa!

[Editor’s note: This editorial was mailed to our publication, scrawled in crayon, almost completely illegibly, on a series of cardboard scraps, and we feel as though it is our journalistic duty to make our readers suffer through this as we… Continue Reading →

“Racism is so messed up” — How A College Student Ended Racism With One Viral Tweet

COLUMBUS, OHIO—“Racism is so messed up…Like seriously.” After centuries of racial divide in America, one college student decided enough was enough. Second year student at Ohio State University Mia Pravdic took to Twitter to voice her distaste for the atrocities… Continue Reading →

Five Reasons Why the Lindbergh Baby Deserved It

Figure 1: The Lindbergh Baby. This is the face of a kid who got what was coming to him. Hello, it is me, the famed aviator and isolationist Republican Charles Lindbergh. I’m sure you know my story: I flew my… Continue Reading →

Kid From Your High School Joining a Junior Hockey League I Guess?

In a shocking departure from the 4-year University path that alumni of your prestigious high school typically take on, Senior Benjamin O’Conner is going to play hockey for The Youngstown Phantoms for the next 2 years. The Youngstown Phantoms are… Continue Reading →

Hero Replies “@realdonaldtrump” Below Tweet About Clowns

Resistance—in all its forms—has never been more necessary these days. Fortunately, well-informed members of the population stay vigilant to call out harmful policies when they see it. One such bastion of resistance, Twitter user @jeffsactivism, has outdone us all today…. Continue Reading →

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2025 The Sundial Humor Magazine — Powered by WordPress

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑