The Ohio State University had to let go of its greatest icons earlier this week: Brutus Buckeye was terminated for embezzling $3 million from the athletic department over the course of 8 years. Following his termination, Mr. Buckeye was intercepted… Continue Reading →
After years of feeling put down, the Short North of Columbus, Ohio demands to be re-named Average Size North. Short North representative Jen A. Tillia states, “We feel as if we’re looked down upon because of our name when in… Continue Reading →
It started with a half-hearted promise, one year ago. When Tyler Plath’s parents dropped him off on Move-In Day, they made him promise them that he would not ever use intoxicating substances. “Remember what you’re here for,” said his father,… Continue Reading →
COLUMBUS—A popular campus dining location at The Ohio State University has been shut down indefinitely after several student reports of a haunting. Traditions at Kennedy, affectionately known as KComm, was a prime eating spot for students until last weekend when… Continue Reading →
PITTSBURGH—Sam Heck, the barista working at Starbucks on Thursday afternoon, looked forlorn, and for good reason. Heck told reporters he was a bit underwhelmed with the response to his new band camp single, which he had gone to great lengths… Continue Reading →
9/27/19 Dear diary, I really want this climate change business to be real, but I just can’t find the evidence. Maybe I’m not looking in the right places, or haven’t looked hard enough, I don’t know. You have no idea… Continue Reading →
I consider myself quite the cinephile, but the one thing I love more than buying a ticket to Movieland is some good-natured fun at my wife’s expense. Since our marriage in 2009, my love for my wife has only grown,… Continue Reading →
[Editor’s note: This editorial was mailed to our publication, scrawled in crayon, almost completely illegibly, on a series of cardboard scraps, and we feel as though it is our journalistic duty to make our readers suffer through this as we… Continue Reading →
COLUMBUS, OHIO—“Racism is so messed up…Like seriously.” After centuries of racial divide in America, one college student decided enough was enough. Second year student at Ohio State University Mia Pravdic took to Twitter to voice her distaste for the atrocities… Continue Reading →
Figure 1: The Lindbergh Baby. This is the face of a kid who got what was coming to him. Hello, it is me, the famed aviator and isolationist Republican Charles Lindbergh. I’m sure you know my story: I flew my… Continue Reading →
In a shocking departure from the 4-year University path that alumni of your prestigious high school typically take on, Senior Benjamin O’Conner is going to play hockey for The Youngstown Phantoms for the next 2 years. The Youngstown Phantoms are… Continue Reading →
Resistance—in all its forms—has never been more necessary these days. Fortunately, well-informed members of the population stay vigilant to call out harmful policies when they see it. One such bastion of resistance, Twitter user @jeffsactivism, has outdone us all today…. Continue Reading →
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