Doctor of Divinity Jacob Alexander Hedwig Wright is a third year student, but has only spent two years at Ohio State University. The other, far more interesting, year was spent at THE Colorado State University in Fort Collins, Colorado, where Jacob was regularly able to catch whiffs of his hall-mate, Toast, smoking marijuana in his dorm room.

Jacob remains very involved in student organizations in so much that he has joined many of them and occasionally attends meetings for some of them. Most notably, Jacob holds the office of the Secretary for the OSU Bread Club. Yes, it is what it sounds like, they bake bread together and then eat it. He is also a chaser/keeper on Ohio State’s Quidditch team, though the amount of playing time he receives in tournaments has been on a downward spiral ever since the team’s captains thought it would be a good idea to have practices fairly late in the evening on weekdays so that Jacob can’t, in good conscience, attend. Jacob also enjoys passive aggressively ranting about other organizations inside of his third-person biographies for satirical publications.

Jacob often laments about his glory days in high school, when the air was ripe with opportunities for performance comedy. In college, apparently most performance groups have something called “standards” and won’t let him participate in their meetings and/or performances. To this day, Jacob maintains that his greatest ever performance was in a play called Boeing Boeing, wherein he played the leading role: a man called Bernard, living in Paris, who has three fiancées, none of whom know about each other. One fateful day, Bernard’s buffoonish but lovable friend, played by Jacob’s school mate, Tom Klosterman, arrives. Hijinks ensued, etc. But no one wants to hear about that, because peaking in high school is really lame, even for a “comedian.” The author mostly used this anecdote to introduce Jacob and Tom’s YouTube channel, which says far more about Jacob’s personality and life than any staff writer’s biography ever could.

https://www.youtube.com/user/psiphiduo