COLUMBUS, OH – Since the National Collegiate Satire Association has released the rules on Name, Image, and Likeness for “amaetur satire writers”, the billion-dollar industry has adjusted to recruit players directly to different programs.
Ohio State’s The Sundial, after losing Head Coach Henry Levenberg to full-time employment, is the latest in the string of expected transfers to other programs. The biggest one includes four-star ranked writer Wally Green, who previously had served as the Starting Managing Editor for the program.
ESPN announced that prior to Green’s departure, he had sent a message in the team group chat saying that “he was busy this semester”, but sources have spotted him in promotional images for the Every Three Weekly at Michigan. Green’s departure meant the level of competitiveness at Sundial fell substantially, and other players began to follow this past Wednesday afternoon.
One of the key winners in this deal is The Bunion, Boston University’s satire magazine, led by first-year and abrasive head coach Emma Quarequio, who vowed to cut any player who didn’t share their articles to their personal Instagram accounts in a viral video last October.
Despite having deep pockets and a Conan-based claim to fame, Harvard’s Lampoon failed to bring in any substantial players after the sixth consecutive year of not being funny and second consecutive year of paying for Twitter Premium to keep their blue checkmark.
A last minute surprising pickup was three-star recruit Sia Sindhwani, who served as a low-level business employee moved straight to the starting writer position at Drake University Independent Magazine. It gives hope for smaller programs to be able to compete in this competitive NIL market.
Written by Henry Levenberg, EIC