After mandating that all Freshman and Sophomores must live on-campus, University President Michael V. Drake has declared that Juniors, Seniors, and all alumni under the age of 65 will also be required to live on-campus. When asked how the University would cope with such an influx of residents, Drake replied, “It may feel a little cramped at first, but that will just encourage our students to expand even more.” While some alumni are pleased with this announcement, the majority of current and former students are upset. An esteemed alumnus could be heard talking on the phone with his boss discussing his now 23-hour commute to Wisconsin every morning.
The alumnus stated, “I was an out-of-state student here 20 years ago and now I can’t be exempt from this policy because I don’t have any relatives in Columbus. We live in Wisconsin! I am from Wisconsin!” Alumni who were not included due to their age were reportedly happy, but still felt they should at least be given a complimentary slice of Traditions at Morrill pizza.
-Morgan Schultz, Staff Member