Yeah that’s right, I’m White House Press Secretary Sean “King of the World” Spicer and I’m a fucking narc. What are you gonna do? Call the police? I am the police. Police love narcs. See what this one officer said about me: “I’m a police officer from a town that exists and I think Sean Spicer is a great guy.” So you should just get over it and accept that I’m going to be in charge of making up facts.
Just get over it you big baby. Facts don’t actually matter. I’m Sean “Big Papi” Spicer and like He-Man, Master of the Universe, I’m top banana. The next time Big Donny Trump has me do a press conference I get to make up some alternative facts to keep normies like you confused while we seize total control of the government. I get to say things like: “I blame immigrants for terror attacks that never happened” and “Donald Trump’s hands are enormous and totally reflect the size of the goods.” There’s nothing you or anyone can do to stop me. I have free speech and anyone who calls me a liar is infringing on my right to lie, so shut up. So why don’t you just accept that I’m a fucking narc and go back to whining about “being oppressed.”