This past Friday saw a massive shock to the campus as Caleb Nielson, a TA for the newest addition to the Department of Mathematics Faculty, Dr. Jeffrey Jameson, referred to him as “Dr. J” when discussing office hours. The recitation room immediately exploded into an uproar as they corrected Mr. Nielson, explaining that the title of “Dr. J” is reserved for the Vice President of Student Life, Dr. Javaune Adams-Gaston.

About 10 minutes later, when Dr. Jameson was told about the misnomer, he refused to apologize for what might have been an honest mistake on the part of the TA. “I have more Js in my name,” he told the 48 students who had emailed him, “clearly the title of Dr. J belongs to me. I will fight whoever I have to in order to take that title myself.”

This past Wednesday, we reached out to the current Dr. J, Dr. Javaune Adams-Gaston, and asked what she thought of the new professor’s challenge. Not only did she accept the fight, she expressed confidence in her ability to win.

“I’m more than happy to show that little twerp who’s boss” She told us in an exclusive interview. “Little does he know, the ‘J’ really stands for ‘Jab.’ I got a mean arm, and I’m not afraid to use it.”

Since then, the two have spent countless hours negotiating the terms under which the fight will take place. While not everything is known, Dr. J has told us on that the fight is an MMA match that will take place at the Schottenstein Center. The winner of the 12-Round bout (or “fuckin’ beatdown”, as she tells us by email, unprompted, about 8 times a day) will earn the title of “Dr. J,” and the weigh-in should take place sometime around finals this semester.