It’s that time of the year again, Buckeyes! The pumpkin spice latte is back, classes are in session, and everyone is thirsting over Brutus again (did we ever really stop?). As August comes to an end, that can only mean one thing… football is back baby!
With the first game just around the corner, most fans are gearing up for the full day event that is Ohio State football. Setting early alarms on the weekend to prepare for 6am tailgating, buying as many cute shirts from campus stores as possible, and getting creative “borg” names ready to steal the show at Block. Our editor-in-chief, for example, has already coined the “Henry Leven-borg”.
Coming back from a season where we lost to Michigan twice (admittedly something we all missed the ball drop for on New Year’s Eve… or did we? We saw a ball drop… far left), many fans and students alike wonder how Ryan Day expects to approach the new season. An exclusive interview, however, gives insight into just how he’s hyping up the team, how they are preparing for victory, and even how they’re viewing the game itself.
“Practices have been mostly normal, other than when we had poor air quality. Coach said it was just the smoke coming back to haunt us after Michigan burnt us twice… so practice went on”, stated a first-year student on the team, wishing to remain anonymous. Despite this questionable health hazard, most of the team seems to be in high spirits, prepared to take as many wins as possible this season.
“Coach Day has always been supportive and really encouraging, but he’s been different lately. His pep talks have changed, and most of us assume it’s from seeing the Barbie movie… only reason we know is because he can be heard humming ‘I’m Just Ken’ in his office from time to time. Oh, and there’s the whole ‘Kenough’ thing.”
When questioned about this “Kenough thing”, the player said that Coach Day has gotten into the habit of saying that all the players are “Kenough” when they’re in the locker room. According to inside sources, he also continues to refer to the locker room as the “mojo dojo casa house”. Most of the players seem totally supportive of this idea, however, often screaming “SUBLIME” prior to walking out the door. Some say there’s even photos of horses around the room – this has yet to be confirmed.
Despite the total flip in how they hype up the team, it seems that the coaching staff’s main goal was to dig deep and really bring out the emotional side of the epic highs and lows of American football. It’s more than just a game… the players’ job is not just “football”. It’s the camaraderie. It’s the romanticization of a nut dressed in scarlet and grey. It’s screaming “OH-“ and hearing “-IO”, not so unlike the repetitive “Hi Barbie!” greetings we see in the Greta Gerwig film.
As the football season progresses, there is no doubt that the team will deliver hard hits and score big, but perhaps they’ll also encourage us to look deeper into ourselves, into our university, and into our thirst for Brutus. Perhaps it isn’t the wins and losses… but rather the lessons we learned along the way.
But seriously, if any of the football players bring out a guitar, I’m out.
Written by Presley Orndorff