COLUMBUS, OH —
With possibly a little too much confetti, salesman and gay icon Bernie Moreno was voted as the Republican candidate for the Ohio Senate race late last night.
Running on a platform opposing fifteen-minute cities, this car dealership owner wants door-to-door access to gay clubs, gay restaurants with plenty of gay parking, and gay drive-throughs.
Riding hard on Trump’s endorsement, Moreno found himself balls deep in a battle with avid baseball enthusiast and basic straight man Matt Dolan.
“The Community has spoken tonight, and they have chosen someone outspoken, someone independent, and someone true to themselves and who they are.”
Moreno will race to get topped by Sherrod Brown this November.