DOWNTOWN COLUMBUS – A local man was caught red-handed today having a conversation with The Voices aboard a COTA #2 bus. Local media outlets reported an intriguing dialogue between the man and what he appears to think is his long-lost imaginary friend.
Sources say the man had been on board for over three hours riding up and down High Street when the conversation happened. Topics of choice included his high school homecoming dance, someone named Cathy, and the high prices at the Graceland Kroger.
Local commuter Jennifer Aneaston was reportedly concerned about this behavior, and alerted the operator onboard. The operator, angry that anyone interacted with them, simply informed Ms. Aneaston that “this event are incredibly commonplace. Have you never ridden a bus, ma’am? Also, you still haven’t figured out how to tap your card on that reader. You’re gonna need to pay the fare, or you’re no better than him.”
Other commuters looked at the conversation less with worry and more with fascination at the art form. “Yeah, man, this was much more entertaining than any podcast I can find online”, said Mike Yimbee, on his way commuting to his comfy sales position at Huntington. “I really wanna meet Cathy. I think she really did some emotional damage to that poor man, and I feel like she and her would vibe on a heartbreaker level. Things like that are why I love C-bus, man [sic].
OSU Student Emily Tote was also on the bus, mistakenly thinking this bus would take her to The Book Loft. “I really should have just taken that Lyft. That was sooooo ghetto. Men are scary beings” Ms. Tote told our reporter, despite her never having gone beyond campus and her home in Westerville before today.
In response to the highly-publicized incident, COTA has formed an Onboard Voices Taskforce, who will over the next few months be tasked with creating safe ways people can talk to The Voices onboard. New COTA CEO Monica Tellez told The Sundial that “The Voices are a cornerstone of our bus-riding culture, keeping our city entertained and moving. Why on earth would we discourage it?”
Written by Diego Phoyú