In the year 1878, my great great great great great grandmother carried out the following ritual as she witnessed the very first solar eclipse of her lifetime. As time went on, this has become a tradition for the generations of… Continue Reading →
HALLOWEENTOWN –– Spooky scary (and anti-gay) skeletons have been dragged out of the closet in the wake of the latest controversy to hit Halloweentown when a local mirror was accused of homophobia following an incident with the town’s resident gay… Continue Reading →
My friend Danny Bass recently pitched me a concept for a new musical entitled “BIBBITY BOBBITY BREAST.” It follows a young man trying to find the identity of his father once he finds out his conception entailed his mother eating… Continue Reading →
Dear Amy, I’ve always been a fitness buff. I love going to the university gym. My workouts are my me time. But every year around this time my sweaty sanctuary becomes swamped with new Freshman newbies and old out of… Continue Reading →
COLUMBUS—A new survey put out today by the Lantern reveals that 8 out of 10 OSU English professors teach novels that you’ve never heard of and can’t bother to pronounce in order to prove the superiority of the English department…. Continue Reading →
The Sundial decided it was about time they had a horoscope section. So, they tasked one of their esteemed writers with the assignment. Unfortunately, she was unable to finish the piece. Shown here are her words with some of the… Continue Reading →
Just kidding, this is an intervention. Pale-Person-Reading-This, I want you to know that I care for you and I respect you. As a fellow pale person, I feel a special bond between us where we can understand what it’s like… Continue Reading →
1. A Desert Island I’d like to start my Island Odyssey adventure on a desert Island. I feel like this will be one of my last opportunities to really rough it before I end up staring at my parent’s fridge… Continue Reading →
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