OSU COLUMBUS CAMPUS — Yelling through a megaphone, political science major Jerry Underwood stands right under the Thompson statue, garnering petition signatures to make the new Yandex Food Delivery Robots more menacing. “They are just too submissive”, explained Jerry, standing in the way of about 26% of the student body. “It took me 45 minutes to get my food, and I think that it’s because the robots are way too cute to be taken seriously. If they had a stronger aura they could carve through crowded crosswalks like a hot knife through a crowded crosswalk.” After rambling for over 8 minutes, Jerry went back to his grind, only 23 signatures short of his 25 signature goal.
–By Idris Malik, Social Media Chair