Everyone remembers where they were when it happened—the day the world stood still. I was enjoying a wonderful evening until I saw online that someone had done the unthinkable. Someone ROBBED BUCKEYE DONUTS.
The Buckeye Donuts Instagram page posted a video of the encounter and wrote “On Thursday, July 23 at 4:50 am, someone entered Buckeye Donuts at 1998 N. High and placed an order. However, at the moment our night manager turned around, this person pulled a gun.”
The 24-hour dessert provider. Jack of many foods and master of all. Keeper of the only baked good which can cure mid-term related sorrow.
Is Nothing Sacred?
Since 1969, Buckeye Donuts has been a bastion of culture and delicacies for the Ohio State Campus Community. After this heinous attack, we at the Sundial can remain dormant no longer. We have drawn together the perfect team to track down the crook who desecrated our after-meeting snack meetup location.
We have Kayleigh, a 2nd-year journalism student and avid consumer of true crime podcasts. She is a certified voice of the people—her social media stories consistently score views in the double digits! Shaun, a 3rd-year engineering student and Central Ohio’s top Call Of Duty Warzone Streamer. Shaun first entered the public eye after helping construct a trebuchet out of eggo waffles. Devon, a Senior who has been to Buckeye donuts on a bi-weekly basis since he figured out how to use the CABS. He has not considered using the CABS for any other reason.
Armed to the teeth with all the skills necessary to chew donuts, they have heroically taken up 8-hour rotating posts to keep watch over the establishment, day and night, until the thief has been brought to justice or they run out of the red velvet cream cheese donuts. They are currently awaiting confirmation of a $2000 grant to help cover essential nutrition related expenses. We urge all students to stop in to show your support.
Written by Idris Malik, Social Media Officer