Now that the temperature has dropped and Ohio State failed to make the playoffs, OSU fans everywhere ask themselves, “What is Ryan Day up to?” Here at the Sundial, we have a special look into the annual phenomenon of Ryan Day’s hibernation!
The yearly ritual begins on the field as a robed choir sings “Hang on Sloopy” and the O arises to reveal a scarlet and grey den. Covered wall to wall in OSU paraphernalia, the centerpiece of the lair is the Brutus-shaped bed where Day will rest his weary head until he returns to the surface in a few weeks. This is all very scientific, as his return to the surface will determine the outcome of next season’s Michigan game. To collect accurate insight into his hibernation process we contacted a real expert, a zoology major.
Sundial: “Why does he have an annual hibernation?”
Zoology major: “After a long and hard season of only losing the important games, Ryan Day finds himself exhausted from the criticism and needing to slumber in his Brutus bed before finding a new starting quarterback.”
Sundial: “How does his hibernation affect the Michigan game?”
Zoology major: “Once he returns to the surface the sun will glint off of his rosy cheeks onto either an OSU helmet or a Michigan helmet. Whichever the beam of light lands on will be sure to go to the playoffs.”
Sundial: “What a tricky little cherub! One final question: Does Jim Harbaugh go through a similar process?”
Zoology major: “Shockingly no! Harbaugh spends his off-season in a cryogenic crypt with flashcards memorizing all other team’s signs.”
Now that Ryan Day’s secret has been revealed OUAB is working tirelessly to make this a ticketed event with only one person per BuckID. (Soon to be upped to 5 people per BuckID due to low attendance)
Written By: Bridget McGuinness