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Lifestyle

OSU Students Demand CABS Be Replaced with High-Speed Rail System

OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY – With the colder weather presenting itself earlier in the spring semester, a lot of students are hesitant to walk far distances. So, they are relying on the buses around campus, however, a particular group of students… Continue Reading →

How To Survive Being Jump Scared by Ted Carter

If you are anything like me, you have had the unfortunate pleasure of seeing Ohio State’s newest President, and human Teddy Bear, Walter “Ted” Carter on any of the OSU official social media platforms.  While Ted seems as though he… Continue Reading →

Environmentally-Conscious Student Gets Mouth Stuck to Metal Straw

SOUTH CAMPUS–After the bitter cold on Tuesday morning, one can only marvel in the tenacity of OSU students and their commitment to braving the weather and making it to their classes. Even if it’s because they get 2 excused absences… Continue Reading →

OSU Queer Community Responds to Rag-O-Rama Closing

CLINTONVILLE, OH- After 25 beautiful years of clothing the gay people of the greater Columbus area, the beloved thrift store Rag-O-Rama has decided to close its poetry-slam-flier plastered doors.  For years, humanities majors at Ohio State University have gone to… Continue Reading →

The Clogged Sink

Written by Olivia Dearth Mayday! Mayday!The sink is clogged. But who could have done this?This terrible block?The disposal’s gone quiet, sink filling with water.Cheerios returning from the depths, soggy fodder.Maybe it was the cat food I poured into the water… Continue Reading →

Brain-Maxxing: The New Year’s Resolution Taking Campus by Storm

Written by Alex Kandakatla In an astonishing twist to New Year’s resolutions, students across campus have reportedly been partaking in a trend known as “brain-maxxing”, the latest trend in self-improvement. Trading in their swipes for ice picks and tiny hammers,… Continue Reading →

New Year’s Rockin’ Eve to be held at Ohio State

Written by Nellie Moore Following the recent success of ‘Light Up The Lake’,  The Ohio State University has announced the next upcoming event they plan to use to make America forget they just lost to Michigan.   For the first time… Continue Reading →

BREAKING: Santa is a hoe hoe hoe!

Written by Santa’s Elf Twas the night before Christmas when all through the town, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas would be there. … Continue Reading →

Virgin Accused of Being A Sex Addict After His Mother Finds 50 Condoms in His Backpack

Written by Sydney Katznelson As Craig wraps up his first semester at THE Ohio State University, he is faced with an…unusual circumstance. “At the beginning of the year I realized that I’m bisexual,” Craig stated, “so I began going to… Continue Reading →

Newport Welcomes Keanu Reeves… and His Bandmates

Looking for something to kick off your spooky season? Look no further than Keanu Reeves’ performance with his band on October 3rd. Traveling from one corn field to the next, the band intends to perform in Columbus at Newport Music… Continue Reading →

Percy Jackson Becomes an Ohio State Frat Bro in Long-Awaited 6th Novel

The long-awaited sixth novel in Rick Riordan’s best-selling series Percy Jackson and the Olympians has finally arrived, and Ohio State students are in for a surprise. This new story in the beloved Greek Life series sees Percy finally graduate high… Continue Reading →

The Sundial Purity Test

 Have you ever held hands romantically?    Have you ever been on a date?   Have you ever danced without leaving room for Jesus?   Do you have to suppress a laugh when you hear any of the following words… Continue Reading →

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