Written by the members of The Buckeye Puppetry Club
THE SHOE, COLUMBUS – GASP! Michigan may actually be as evil as we portray them to be? After the University of Michigan was revealed to have covertly discovered the meanings of the Ohio State football team’s signals to players, Head Coach Ryan Day was forced to take a more unconventional route to communicate with his players.
It’s alleged that members of the team were summoned to the basement of University Hall for a secret meeting in which they were taught the sacred art of shadow puppetry. Included in the lesson were basic forms of shadow puppets, along with their corresponding meanings.
Staff at the Shoe were asked to set up what can only be called a shadow puppet theater that would put Mrs. Rupert’s display in the second grade to shame. From the sidelines, rabbits, eagles, and a misshapen antique vase (?) were shown to players to help ensure a win for the Buckeyes.
The coded projections could be seen by all players on the field, though to Harbaugh’s dismay, Michigan players were not able to discern them. One Wolverine was reported to assume the fetal position at the 40-yard-line after mistaking one of the shadow puppets as an ink blot in which he saw his parents fighting.
The move to shadow puppetry proved to be a success for the Buckeyes. Following OSU’s victory, students excited by this new tactic have flocked to join the university’s Buckeye Puppetry Club. Leadership within the organization has stated that their membership has doubled in size with a current record of four members.