Went into the boys’ bathroom once in third grade on accident Heelys are things that I have never owned Yearbook pictures: regrettable    I was actually cool and everyone was just jealous    Grew bangs, cut them myself  Only kid… Continue Reading →

A recent investigation conducted by The Sundial has confirmed suspicions that local bully Sam Coller, the kid who called your kid a “2% milk-drinking coward,” is not acting out because of any concealed suffering in other parts of his life… Continue Reading →

I love getting bullied. It’s one of my favorite pastimes. Name calling? Constant criticism? Getting pushed down stairs? It doesn’t bother me even a little bit. In fact, I seek out opportunities to get bullied. It brings me pleasure when… Continue Reading →

Thousands of Americans are facing the grim prospect of unemployment as the Tik-Tokking, avocado-toasting, and rent-starved Millennials take down yet another great pillar of American industry: bullying.  “The act of bullying someone requires your victim to have some semblance of… Continue Reading →

The dunce cap — the universal symbol of stupidity, the widely recognized signifier of shameful unintelligence, the preferred head apparel of idiots everywhere. The image of a brainless nobody in a tall, pointy hat has long been mocked and criticized… Continue Reading →

Why were you so mean to me back then? I was new at school, and I needed friends. I came up to you all nervous, just wanting to chat, and you made fun of my stutter and took my lunch… Continue Reading →

I knew I made a mistake when I mentioned that my office plants at work weren’t looking too healthy. It was at the company water cooler while I was making small talk when Greg, my coworker, overheard me say that… Continue Reading →

On February 3, 1959, legendary rock and roll musician and singer-songwriter Buddy Holly tragically passed away in a plane crash in Clear Lake, Iowa, while traveling for his Winter Dance Tour. There are a number of theories regarding what exactly… Continue Reading →

Riding the Peloton that I’ve recently moved from the basement into what used to be my son’s bedroom, I imagine I’m being chased by a large monster representing the national debt. Two dreams give me the strength to keep pedalling… Continue Reading →