One thing I hate about Steely Dan is how much they lie. For example, you know that song “Hey Nineteen”? They could’ve danced together because they were the same age in 1967!
And what’s with their name? It’s a lie, too. Steely Dan? Where’s the Dan? Your names are Donald and Walter. If anything, you should be called Steely Dalter or Steely Walnold. And what about the steel? Are you affiliated with the Pittsburgh Steelers? We HATE the Pittsburgh Steelers! You’re from New York! You should should be called Giant Walnold or Giant Dalter.
What a stupid name you have.
But you know what’s more stupid? Your songs. What unrelatable content. Alcohol? Drugs? What does anyone even know about that stuff?
And your songs aren’t even about you and that’s more lies! What even is your genre? Lying and endless jazz breaks? Speaking of endless, your songs are so long. Your songs are just three minutes of intro, three minutes of outro, and nothing in between. One of you couldn’t even live long enough for “Aja” to finish. You’re dead. And you’re so boring you had to start a band just to seem interesting.
Also you’re dead.
Written by Francesca Varga, Social Media Officer, and Sarah Palazzo, Co-President