It’s the beginning of the year again, and with that comes meeting your new roommate or roommates! Some of you will be lucky and this person will be your best friend for the rest of life. Others of you will get stuck with a loser that’s only interested in playing sports and drinking. One of the hardest things about adjusting to having this new person around all the time is coming up with things to say. You absolutely do NOT want to be the kid who’s responds with “aiaskdfm hiasnu oood” when your roommate asks, “How’s it going?” It’s also important to be able to properly greet them when they walk into the room, so you guys don’t sit in silence pretending to be listening to Andre 3000 or whoever the newest artist is on your dead Air Pods. Without further delay, here are the top five coolest things to say to your roommate when they enter the room!

5) “Whammy in my jammies”

This is an up-and-coming phrase that basically means “I’m just chillin’ man.” It gives off the vibe that you’re not looking for anything too high-energy and are cool with just laying in bed trying to figure out what the next big Fortnite dance will be. To really get the full effect, ring your hands with your middle 3 fingers closed and your thumb and pinky extended out.

Roommate: What’s goin’ on?
You: Not much, just whammy-ing in my jammies.
RM: Alright, I feel that.

4) “Ayyy there’s the Booger!”

Use this after a long day of work so you and your pal both know how unbreakable your bond is – as unbreakable as one of the crusty boogers on the wall next to your bed. That way, when they walk in and you greet them this enthusiastically, they’ll know you’re their best friend. How could you not be with a term of endearment like that?

3) “Whoomp there it is!”

What’s a better way to greet your friend than with a classic 90’s hit? Greet them with pizzazz and let them know how long you’ve been awaiting their return! Rumor has it that this hip phrase is how Bill Clinton addressed Ms. Lewinsky when she entered the oval office to hand him some documents.

2) “Hot-Dog”

The word “hot-dog” is the most versatile word in the English language. It can be used to mean:

  • Cool
  • Awesome
  • Oh boy
  • Gee golly
  • Neat
  • Swell
  • One fineee German Shepherd

As well as approximately 2,735 individual unidentified parts of animals that are shoved into one meat sleeve. Using this phrase shows your roommate just how up to date you are with the latest lingo and that you’re surprisingly intelligent given that you can correctly pick out which meaning of the word to use. An example exchange might go something like this:

*Roommate enters the room*

Roommate: Hey what’s up?

You: Hot dog!

RM: Right on, man.

1) “The Fonz”

The coolest thing to say to your roommate comes from the slickest man to ever grace the television: The Fonz. When your living mate enters the room, give him a head nod and scream “The Fonz,” and he’ll know what’s up. You’re the coolest cat in town and it’s an honor to have you as a roommate. In fact, it’s so cool that his other friends will realize how close you guys are that they’ll walk away just to give you two some quality bro-time!

Written by Jack Polivka, Contributor