This is totally unfair. I am disgusted to report that I have been personally discriminated against by one of my favorite establishments, Halfway on High. According to the law, no one under the age of 21 can drink alcohol. This is fine. I’m 27, so legally I am allowed to drink alcohol in my favorite club. Halfway, however, has a “policy” that anyone under the age of 21 that enters the club receives two black Xs on the backs of their hands. This method of tracking age shows blatant disregard for the personal freedom of many long-time patrons, most importantly, myself. 

I recently made the courageous decision to finally get the tattoo that I had been contemplating for years. I wanted to get something that really meant something to me, and what could mean more than my favorite letter of the alphabet – the unparalleled X. All of my favorite words start with X – xerox, xylophone, xenophile – to name a few. I also just really vibe with the way the letter X sounds. X, ex, eckkkkkkkssssss. I even sign off all of my emails with “XxDarrenxX” because I want to type “X” as much as I can. What could be better than a permanent reminder of the dopest letter of the alphabet? Nothing. So I decided to get the letter X tattooed on my hands where I can see it whenever I want.

And now the club that I’ve been going to for literal YEARS won’t let me drink? Because apparently to them it looks like I have “big black Xs” on my hands and that means I’m “probably a minor” and likely “unable to handle my alcohol anyway.” This is utter bullshit! I was so appalled by this policy that clearly discriminates against me specifically that I went to every other place that serves alcohol. Fives, Leah’s, Bethel & Frank, Large Bar, Small Bar, you name it, they wouldn’t serve me. My old fraternity wouldn’t even let me drink even after I showed them my ID because I had “those Xs, bro. You know what that means.” 

After being completely humiliated in front of my brothers in 𝚾𝚾𝚾 (that’s Chi Chi Chi for anyone stupid enough to not know Greek letters), I was left wandering the streets looking for any place that would look past my physical appearance and serve me as the 27 year-old that I am. I had almost given up completely, but there was still one more place I could try. I went to my local liquor store to buy some beer, only to find that they too wouldn’t serve me. Their reason? They said I was “clearly an under 21-year old idiot who couldn’t figure out how to wash the X’s off of their hands. What a nerd.” I am not a nerd! I’m just a guy who can legally drink who wanted to celebrate what is clearly the best letter of the alphabet. If there’s something wrong with that, then I don’t want to be right. 

I’ve committed no crime. If you agree that I’ve been wrongfully targeted by these establishments and my civil liberties have been personally violated, I urge you to show your solidarity by tatting Xs on your hands or sending alcohol to my address, listed below for your convenience. Long live the X!

XxDarrenxX

Written by Francesca Varga, Social Media Officer