The year is 2019 and two young Barbies come home from their human-dominated school visibly depressed about the prejudice that they face daily. The narrative below shows the current situation in the Barbies’ home:

Barbies (crying): Mom!! The kids at school don’t like us because that witch Annabelle has created a creepy image for us Barbies. They even call us Anna and Belle.

Barbie Mom (ranting): Look, they will call you a creepy doll if you dress up like that. These younger Barbies don’t even know how to fill their shopping carts even though they got rich parents to pay for it. Who poked these holes in your jeans?

Anna (badly sunburned): Well, who poked holes in the Ozone Layer causing me to look like this!!

Barbie Mom (furious): Don’t you dare talk back to your mom and don’t change the topic!

Belle: OK Boomer!!

Unfortunately, the above conversation is a frequent occurrence at many middle-class Barbie households across America. Here, we are looking at a much deeper problem that has affected the Generation-Z Barbies’ mental well-being. The dialogue above is a shocking description of not just misplaced stereotypes, but also of a not-so-subtle generational divide as the mother fails to understand the emotional horror that they are going through because of some popular horror movies.

Clearly, the Barbies of today are a frustrated lot. Not only are their sales dropping, but their friendly reputation stands challenged too. A few years ago, a team of analysts cited that the radical shunning of Barbies for their unhealthy body proportions repelled many parents away from getting the toy for their kids. Another faction of researchers invested into this grave concern believed that kids don’t prefer them anymore as they want their toys to be more interesting/innovative. However, recently the two teams concluded their investigation with a consensus when they realized that the most devastating decline in Barbie sales coincides with the release date of the first Annabelle movie in 2014 [1].

Barbie’s hardest drop: 2015, the year following Annabelle’s release. (Citation: Statista.com)

The Sundial got an opportunity to interview one of the researchers working on this issue. While reminiscing his greatest academic contribution during the last decade, he commented, “The Conjuring universe has managed to affect the sales of not only antique porcelain dolls, but also of the friendliest inanimate personalities, the Barbies. Since the release of the movie Annabelle in 2014, many soon-to-be-dads are choosing to avoid gifting dolls to their pregnant wives. That stigma associated with dolls naturally extended to Barbies.”

The crisis doesn’t stop with the first installment of the series. The Sundial also had a conversation with a lonely Barbie sitting quietly in a 7-year old’s toy box. In a somber tone, she told about an incident when she overheard the child who used to play with her, “Her friend came to play that day and she brought a Barbie doll. But my owner rebuked her friend saying that the doll will steal all her toy guns and balls because Barbie’s ‘friend’ Annabelle likes to play with them too.” The child apparently saw her parents watching Annabelle: Creation (released 2017), where a huge demon controlled by Annabelle scares a little girl by pulling the toy gun held by her and the ball fired from it with an unreal force. The tearful Barbie further added, “I would rather not have the balls to snatch any kid’s guns and balls. Human children can turn violent at times and usually they lash out by decapitating me. They would initiate their
horrific capital punishment by popping out my poorly manufactured soft PVC head. If I am lucky, they would embarrass me by dressing me up as a prisoner to teach me a lesson.”

Taking a few cues from the introductory dialogue, it is extremely important for Barbie moms to understand the real reason causing mental distress among their children. They should seek professional counseling and not let their kids play in homes where people watch creepy doll movies. However, selection of a loving home for a Barbie is not as easy as we think. Tracking Netflix account activity of each home is not an ideal way to deal with this situation as people rarely watch movies on their own Netflix. Due to these highly complex reasons, countless Barbies continue to suffer in silence until a reliable solution is found.

The Sundial hopes for a revolutionary solution during the next decade to assuage the plight of poor Barbies affected by Annabelle’s demonic activities.

References:
[1] Gross sales of Mattel’s Barbie brand worldwide from 2012 to 2018
https://www.statista.com/statistics/370361/gross-sales-of-mattel-s-barbie-brand/


Written by Yuvraj Singh, Contributor