In a stunning new report released by the Office of Student Life, officials completed a year-long $1.5 million dollar independent study that showed clear results labeling Traditions at Morrill the “least favorite dining hall” on the Columbus campus. 

“This just came really as a shock to all of us,” President Kristina Johnson announced in an email sent out to all faculty and students. “We really were not expecting to receive these types of results.”

Thousands of students and alumni were asked several “Would you Rather?” questions in the survey and statistics show that dine at Morrill Traditions was ranked below drink at Crimson Cup, but optimistically above eat dinner made by a recently divorced father

“We need to have a ground up revitalization of how we plan, serve, and prepare food at Morrill,” Ohio State’s head dining director Guy Fieri sent in response to our request for comment. 

Now, university officials are focused on making improvements to best serve it’s on-campus undergraduate population, like solving the mysterious links of death to those who add the shrimp option to the pasta served in the dining hall. 


-By Henry Levenberg, Contributor