Brooklyn, New York—Taking a break from her day job as a dog walker, aspiring standup comic Ally Hestin expressed worry about the social effects of today’s politically correct climate. “Comedy right now is at a crisis point,” the 25-year-old said. “If things don’t change soon it might affect the careers of ultra-wealthy celebrities like Jerry Seinfeld.” 

Ms. Hestin was thankful for her recent success as the only woman featured on local comedian Tony Pepperoni’s Spicy Comedy Night. She was also the sole invited comic not a member of Tony’s crew, the Salami Boys. “They wouldn’t give me my $10 for the set until I agreed to like the Salami Boy’s Facebook page,” she said. “I’ve got it easy though, imagine what someone like Jerry Seinfeld, star of the hit show Seinfeld, has to deal with.”

Ms. Hestin recently competed in the 2019 Brooklyn Comedy Tournament where she came in 4th thanks to the strong performance of her “what if the Jolly Green Giant got depression” joke. Ranked below her were 16 identical men with jokes about how cyberbullying isn’t real. “Wokeness has run amok,” she said. “Everybody is too afraid of backlash to push boundaries.” The competition winner, Craig Matthews, left the crowd laughing with punchlines like “Caitlyn Jenner makes me uncomfortable” and “Anne Frank? Would do.” Craig is a member of the Salami Boys.

After refusing to go on the Salami Boys Podcast and participate in the ‘Spicy or Mild’ segment ranking the attractiveness of female Supreme Court justices, Ms. Hestin has been blacklisted from all Tony Pepperoni productions. She claimed her refusal wasn’t due to being “too PC” but rather because she would not record a podcast ad for Gamer Fuel® without being paid the $10 they still owed her. Despite her struggles, she maintained her resolute defense of Mr. Seinfeld. “Free speech is under attack. Those in power enforce certain kinds of thinking and punish those who stray too far,” she said. “It’s unjust, and the biggest victims of all are well-connected people of wealth like Jerry Seinfeld.”

Mr. Seinfeld could not be reached for comment due to commitments for his interview show, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. At press time he was seen driving around Upper Manhattan in his Porsche 550 Spyder, looking for Pete Davidson, who had slipped out of the car. Mr. Davidson is a member of the Salami Boys.

Written by Ian Gray, Contributor