I saw in a recent edition of The Lantern that the Tom W. Davis Clock Tower on North Campus has been named the 8th Wonder of the World. Good; it definitely deserves the title. Now let me tell you why.

The North Campus Clock Tower, being a pristine example of phallic architecture, was given to The Ohio State University by France in 1754 to celebrate the university’s centenary. Since then, it has generated nearly $10 billion in tourist revenue for the university, making it the United States’ #1 most-visited tourist attraction. The Clock Tower has even come to be recognized as the primary symbol of the Buckeye religious movement; think of it as Mecca’s Kaaba, except the Clock Tower is much more famous. 

As someone who has visited all seven of the other New Wonders of the World, I can tell you that the Clock Tower is, by far, the most impressive. Read through my comparisons below to find out why:

  • The Great Wall of China: too much walking involved. 
  • Chichen Itza: too hard to pronounce.
  • Petra: it was literally destroyed in the third Indiana Jones movie.
  • Macchu Picchu: ngl, this one is actually cool as fuck.
  • Christ the Redeemer: they don’t allow people to bungee jump off the top of it, unlike the North Campus Clock Tower.
  • The Colosseum: they don’t allow deathmatches anymore, unlike the North Campus Clock Tower.
  • The Taj Mahal: I already went to the one on High Street. The food was good, but the building itself was nothing special. 

Written by National Geographic